Twenty-Something Year Old Journalist

“What’s your blog about?”

That question stopped me in my tracks after a lengthy discussion with a British hostelmate prior to going out to the club Fucking Mondays in Madrid (It was Monday!—although technically Tuesday at that point). Despite our conversation following a path of hazing stories, questioning if God was real, and then taking a slightly misogynistic turn while talking about ‘body count,’ it was that question that stopped me in my tracks. 

What is my blog about? 

Transparently, that question has haunted me before. But now it was troubling even my most entrepreneurial spirits—I had passed out only two of my DIY blog business cards while traveling despite an initial plan to become an overnight twenty-something year old Spanish blog sensation. 

How is one to eloquently say that their blog is sometimes about pop culture? But also life’s lessons? But then obviously politics too—or rather the crumbling of democracy and the world order as we knew it. But then it’s also sometimes about Beyoncé? But then there’s also those random sprinkles of she’s-in-the-process-of-changing-her-med’s poems and think pieces?

Before this blog became what it is today—a visionary piece of work and now home to 47 whole subscribers (you can be lucky number 48!), it initially started as a digitized diary and a secret. Freshly graduated, incredibly unemployed, thousands of miles away from my college friends, and newly moved back-in with my dad, I needed an outlet and wanted to document the post-grad, twenty-something year old journey. 

Knowing how isolating and how hard it can be to deal with life at times, I wanted to be open and share my own journey in hopes of even just one person finding solace in it. This came in the form of since-deleted blog entries about dealing with anxiety, feelings of lonesomeness, and the absolute hell of looking for a job. 

But then suddenly I found myself with a job, finally made an appointment with a psychiatrist, and even rediscovered my middle school journalist’s love of writing (more specifically that writing being read), effectively transforming the blog into what it is today. 

But what is it today? 

I know there doesn’t necessarily need to be a succinct answer to answer what my blog is about (not until I’m stuck in an elevator at 30 Rock), but I haven’t been able to carry on with my regularly scheduled writing without at least admitting that I have no idea what my blog is about. 

I want to write about feminism. Sometimes I urgently want people to know that I am very much attuned to pop culture and very much have an opinion on it (I always knew Addison Rae would be a star). And sometimes I simply feel a calling to write after catching Saturday Night Live live. Sometimes I want to rant about how Nazi, fascist idiot boys run our country. Sometimes life has slapped me with reality and I feel the need to share what I learned. And sometimes I struggle with wanting to be completely honest and authentic in my writing, fearing the vulnerability that comes with it. I often trap myself in an inexistent box about what my blog ‘should’ be about, sacrificing the honesty and authenticity that initially guided my blog’s genesis. 

What I’m trying to say here is, my blog must be about whatever I want it to be about. As much as I do enjoy writing for others’ enjoyment, this blog was started by me, for me. I cannot hold myself back on how I want to express myself creatively just out of fear of what others may think. Though I do hope people are able to find some sense of relatability in this blog, or maybe even just a brief chuckle, all I am able to do is write about whatever feels true to me.

Next week you might get an exploration of medical gaslighting, or an in-depth review of Amy Poehler’s new podcast, or maybe even yet another trying-to-wrap-her-mind-around-the-current-state-of-the-country rant, or possibly a grappling-with-her-mental-health poem is on the horizon. At this rate though, maybe Pete Hegseth will add me to the next highly classified Signal group chat where I’ll get to detail the government’s newest war plan on this very blog. You’ll just have to stay tuned to see.